Saturday, December 26, 2009

I ♥ My Pengda (:

Haha gosh as if my last post wasn't enough about my boyfriend, I'm going to dedicate a whole post to him. I guess its because during the holidays he's been away and so I'm now going through Dylan Withdrawal. I mean sure we've been texting, on the phone, and on aim the whole time pretty much (in fact we're talking on aim right now) but no matter how many times that damn song repeats it, kissing through the phone just doesn't work. I miss seeing him everyday at school and webcamming with him until 3am every night. Yes I realize it's overkill.

But when you consider a typical day for us, my mild form of withdrawal right know appears slightly more fitting. So lets see, I wake up and first thing I do is call him. Then I shower and get ready for school etc. During the 30min ride to school we text the whole way except sometimes I'm really tired and I fall asleep. And when I finally see him waiting at my locker every morning, I feel elated; I know its odd considering this happens every morning, but honestly it never gets old. So then unfortunately, we only have one class together so I walk him to ap chem (haha yes I walk him because my Italian teacher gives a 5min grace). However, we're not the best students, we end up texting through class anyways. Registry is usually boring, cept on the days I have to give announcements but even then I text him while doing those. He has the next period off (why? I have no clue) and I have Art which is a total BS class that I'm dropping next semester. So I usually end up leaving class to spend time with him anyways. Then comes the one class we have together, ap physics-c, but we sit separately anyways so we text through that class. Afterwards I have lunch and he was ap gov which is actually a time we don't text haha. Next I have ap calc ab and he has ap econ, just another period we text through. Then my favorite class, ap lang&comp while he has ap calc bc. As much as I love my english teacher and I have that class with my bestie Joel, I end up texting Dylan anyways. And finally, the last class of the apush, while he's in ap lit∁ we actually don't text during this time haha. Gosh, then we just go home and end up webcaming til early hours of morning. Repeat.

So to go from that to not seeing him for two weeks, yeah its a bit daunting.

I usually try to avoid dragging as much as possible but I can't help but feel like I really won this time. I went from seeing relationships as accessories or simply a security blanket of knowing theres some guy always there for me to lash out on (yeah I'm a bitch like that) to feeling as if I really found someone to stick with for the rest of my life. Yes I sound naive and stupid because I'm only 16 but I can't imagine ever feeling this way about any other guy. Dylan's the boyfriend who sits in Lucky's with me to read Cosmo haha. He's the boyfriend who tries to teach me Calculus and doesn't laugh when I can't do mental math. He's the boyfriend who lets me win even when I shouldn't and listens to my ridiculous demands. He's the boyfriend that gets along with my friends, my brother, and even puts up with my extreme mood swings. I'm nowhere near perfect and to be able to meet someone who cares so much for me seems almost unfair. The line has been used so many times but I really feel as if I don't deserve him.

I always feel like I have so much to say but when I really sit down, I feel like I have nothing to say. Perhaps it is a sign that words are not the proper medium to explain how I feel. But what is? I guess only time can tell. Despite all the time we spend talking, we never seem to want to stop and we never seem to run out of things to say. Like how on a random night we realize that we both hate licorice or that both of our favorite drinks are from the same company. I guess it's the little moments that really make smile and know he's the one. Guys are notoriously (and maybe wrongly) known for being scared of commitment so its a bit scary to tell him that but hey, if he really is unwilling/scared to commit, then theres not point in sticking around and forcing it right? But I'm sure he isn't. haha.

This whole post has basically been a ramble but once in a while I feel like I need to post some word vomit. I really do love him. He even got the best friend's seal of approval even before we started dating. At homecoming; Joel: "Why aren't you dating that? I mean I'd tap that!"

Theres really no one like my squishy squinty chubby pengda.

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